If your once happy marriage is now on the brink of divorce, you’re not alone! Perhaps your wife just won’t let go of a painful conflict from the past and constantly throws it in your face. Or maybe the pair of you can’t even talk through a disagreement without it escalating into a full blown verbal meltdown. Worst yet you or your wife, or both, may have had an affair. All of these issues fester like an open wound in your marriage until there only seems to be one solution: cut your losses and run. There is hope though, and your relationship can be rescued from the brink of disaster. The solution is marriage counseling.

Now, you might be thinking: “Marriage counseling is a crock!”

Fair enough. While it is true that marriage counseling often has a negative image associated with it, the reality is that it has saved many relationships from ending in divorce. The problem lies in the fact that many couples don’t do their homework when it comes to choosing the right marriage counselor. When you’re dealing with a life changing issue like trying to save your relationship, it’s important to put the same thought and care into finding the right therapist as you did in finding your wife.

Remember, all marriage counselors are not created equal. One of the biggest keys to successful counseling is finding a therapist that “feels right” for both of you. If one of you feels like the counselor is siding with the other, then the therapy is doomed from the start. You need a counselor that is capable of remaining completely impartial. They also must be able to establish mutual trust between the three of you.

The second key to successful marriage counseling is to give it a chance. This seems like common sense but too many couples go into therapy with the mindset that it isn’t going to work. Keeping an open mind about the process is crucial to saving your relationship.

Look, your troubled marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce. Many relationship issues can be resolved by finding a marriage counselor that will help guide you both back from the brink. Just remember, even the best counselor in the world can’t save a couple that refuses to be saved. Commit to the process, keep an open mind and your marriage will soon be well on the way to recovery.

In today’s information age, you don’t always have to have money to pay for expert advice. If you need marriage counseling tips, they can be found on your home computer, and much of it is very good for helping to stop unwanted divorce. Learning how to listen differently to your mate, and keep an optimistic attitude, can spare a lot of hurt and necessary healing.

It’s true, we get so busy and caught up in all the things we have to do to survive, that we allow the wrong thoughts to enter into our relationships. This is from not spending enough ‘quality’ time talking and listening to our mates to understand how we feel about things we tackle every day, and some we take for granted each day.

The world takes our focus off our mate to the point we’re no longer sensitive to what makes him/her happy, and make their life worth all the hard work and aggravation. By listening advice from people who’ve been there, and taking action in regards to the marriage counseling tips they offer, you can stop unwanted divorce in its tracks, and heal the small things that are trying to pull you apart.

By simply stopping where you are, sitting down with an open mind, and an open heart, you can get a better understanding of how things got to where they are in so short of a time.

To stop unwanted divorce, it takes two willing participants. Both parties must want it stopped, and be willing to listen to marriage counseling tips or any other ‘good advice’ that will turn them around and point them in the direction of saving the marriage.

While marriage is one of the best unions in life from which happiness is derived, there are many obstructions that come in the face of it every now and then. This is generally influenced by the fact that matrimony is a life lasting commitment in which many aspects do not remain the same, which can lead to change of the original outlook that the couple had during their younger days.

Marriage counseling is one of the most prominent ways to save your marriage. This is the professional way of solving internal problems that put the couple at disparate ends. It is done by certified, professional counselors who have in depth insight into the issue. Their marriage rebuilding services prove worthwhile and effective by the fact that they act as a third party to whom secrets can be entrusted without being known by outsiders.

Mutual dedication to bring up children together is another lesson on how to save your marriage. This can be made manifest in many ways. For example, the simple act of a man offering to lend a helping hand to children over their homework will make the mother as she serves supper for the whole group feel proud of her family. In this way children play an instrumental role as a uniting factor in which a couple has no suppressed feelings.

Marriage counseling to most couples provides an effective solution on information of solving family crises by trying to recover lost love. It may be that a couple has stayed together for so long that both or one of them may lose the spark of feeling love for the other. This is often the precursor to changing the union from the bed of roses it once was to one of unfaithfulness and distaste for one another. Bringing love to such a situation means sharing every moment as if it were the last one the two have together. In this way one can start the morning by giving a hearty hug to their partners, massaging them when they are tired, speaking tender words after a hard day and remembering to say magic words like ‘dear.’

Marriage counseling is a helpful and effective tool in providing married couples to reignite the spark of love and solve any problems quickly and efficiently.

Many couples stay unhappy for long periods of time building resentments towards each other and in no time at all end up separating and eventually divorcing. The divorce process is hurtful and expensive experience especially if there are kids involved. There are many causes of unhappiness in marriages that can be solved easily. Instead of bottling up them, couples should save their marriage by talking to each other and getting further help. This is where the marriage counselors will assist your situation. Seeking assistance and advice from marriage counselors has its perks and some of them include the following:

Enhance Communication Skills

They say communication is the lifeline of any relationship. Although some spouses try to communicate with each other, there comes a time when there are on different pages. Seeing a marriage counselor will help in improving the communication skills in manner that is efficient and comprehensible. Spouses are also able to resolve their conflicts in a healthy manner and live peacefully with each other.

Enhances Assertiveness

Some spouses are afraid of each other and are unable to address their needs. This problem is exhibited by the female spouses who are afraid of their opposite sex. They fear that they might get hurt if they address their issues. This problem can be solved through marriage counseling. Spouses are able to learn the necessary ways of addressing their issues and boost their relationship as a result. They are also able to learn how to be assertive without being offensive.

Resolving Unresolved Issues

Those who have problems in resolving their problems, irrespective of the magnitude, are often advised to seek marriage counseling. This is because marriage counseling acts as a safe place where couples can express their unhappy nature to each other. In most cases, getting your feelings out in the open and clearing the air of any issue might just do the trick for couples. This process is fully achieved through the assistance of marriage counselors.

Strengthens Marriage Relationships and Family Bonds

Through marriage counseling, spouses are able to gain a deeper understanding of each other. They are able to learn their needs and issues. As a result their relationship is strengthened and maintained. The family bond is also tightened. This is because the spouses are able to work together and provide for their families.

There are some marriage counselors who are able to save any failing marriages because it is important to make sure that you are satisfied, happy and content with your marriage.

I read an interesting article providing “research” that marriage counseling seems to increase the likelihood of divorce. As a psychologist and couples counselor, I had to look further into this, as it seems counter-intuitive/antithetical.

The study is based upon research compiled in the State of Louisiana, which allows couples the option of the “Covenant Marriage.” This is a legally defined marriage which is significantly more difficult to terminate, and includes a two year waiting period prior to divorce as well the requirement to take “reasonable steps” to preserve the relationship, which can include marriage counseling.

The study of 700 marriages over four years concluded that “All forms of marital counseling are associated with a two to threefold increase in the likelihood of divorce.”

As a Clinical Psychologist who has worked with couples since 1991 (and an MIT graduate who understands a little bit about statistics), I believe that the data and conclusions might need to be explored a little bit more. We know that statistics can be manipulated to reach just about any conclusion, and I have only read the article summarizing the data, not the actual research data itself.

However, I know that positive results in psychotherapy depend upon a number of factors, including:

1. The skill and training of the psychotherapist.

2. The intention of each member of the couple entering into treatment (believe it or not, some spouses/partners actually go into treatment to END their relationship, not to save it).

3. The “match” between psychotherapist and patients.

In addition, I believe that the “sample” of married couples entering into couples counseling is already “pre-conditioned” as these are couples that are acknowledging that they have a problem. They automatically are more likely to divorce given that they have a problem, as opposed to couples that are “happy” in their relationship.

So, of course, regardless of research, I am a firm believe in psychotherapy and couples counseling and will be curious to see how this latest report is taken by the population and the media.

The full article referencing this study may be found if you Click Here.

What are YOUR thoughts about this? What are YOUR experiences of couples counseling? Please comment on this article and please SHARE it with anyone that you believe will benefit from it.

Thank you so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

The decision to end a marriage is never an easy one. Emotions run high, there are financial considerations, and that doesn’t even begin to address the added complications if kids are involved. Once the decision to file for divorce has been made, the need for a highly qualified family law attorney cannot be overstated. Each state has its own laws in regard to divorce, so if you are filing in Chester County, Pennsylvania, it is of vital importance that you hire an attorney who specializes in Chester County family law.

Children and Divorce under Chester County Laws

Before taking that step of contacting a Chester County divorce lawyer, however, there are some important things to consider. First and foremost, if there are children involved, how will this impact them? In cases where a marriage is irretrievably broken, simply having children is not a valid reason to avoid divorce, but both parties must be aware of how a divorce is likely to affect them. Children can be surprisingly perceptive and many times can sense that something is wrong, even when their parents take great pains to hide it. Though divorce is never easy on the children, the decision to finally admit that there is a problem that the parents cannot fix on their own may dissipate some of the tension the children may be experiencing. Someone experienced in Chester County family law can explain additional issues such as child custody and monetary support.

Couple Counseling Before Divorce

Marriage counseling should always be seen as an option before deciding to terminate a marriage. A good marriage counselor can help a couple thrash out issues that they may have previously thought to be insoluble. While the chief responsibility of a marriage counselor is to try to find a way to save the marriage, the end result of counseling may be the realization that divorce is indeed inevitable. In that case, having attempted counseling before deciding to go through with the divorce may decrease the amount of guilt you may experience going forward. A Chester County divorce lawyer may, in fact suggest that you investigate counseling before deciding for sure to terminate the marriage.

Dividing the Marital Assets

The financial consequences of divorce are often times profound, and the more assets a couple has amassed, the more difficult untangling and separating those assets can be. A Chester County divorce lawyer can help you to understand Pennsylvania law regarding marital property before you commit to going through with a divorce. Unlike California and some other states, Pennsylvania is not a community property state, meaning that the rules governing division of property a somewhat complex, meaning that hiring an attorney who specializes in Chester County family law is extremely important. In addition to separation of assets, the issue of separation of marital debt must also be decided. This debt includes a home mortgage, debts owed to banks or lending institutions, and unpaid bills as well as school, car, and home improvement loans.

It is important to remember that Chester County family law attorneys can help you even if you have not made the final decision to file for divorce. They can discuss these life altering decisions with you, and help you decide what the right course of action is for you and your family.

Divorce changes everything. The pain and loss can be overwhelming. According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, divorce is the second most stressful life event that one may experience; the death of a spouse being the first. If we’re being honest; isn’t going through a divorce the same as experiencing a death, the death of a relationship? Isn’t it the same as a marital separation or a personal injury? So many of the life stressors included in Holmes and Rahe’s list are put into play, all at once, post divorce.

Therapy, with a highly skilled professional, is essential to navigating the emotional minefield that is divorce, but so much can get in the way of following through with therapy. It’s a bit of a conundrum. We’re stressed, dispirit for relief, fully aware that post divorce counseling is needed, but our lives continue hurtling forward. Work goes on. Parenting goes on. Meals still need to be prepared. Housework still needs to be done. Friendships and extended family still need attention. Despite the fact that we are depressed, frightened by an uncertain future, and pained by the loss of love and security, life goes on. Finding the time, mustering the energy and summoning the motivation to seek divorce counseling may seem impossible.

Teletherapy (therapeutic telephone conferencing) removes the obstacles to seeking post divorce therapy and can be the perfect solution. Teletherapy offers the convenience of flexible appointments; accommodating the sudden changes in schedules, which may be precipitated by divorce. The benefits of being in a physical space, which is both familiar and comfortable to the client, such as your home or office, are significant. Receiving divorce therapy becomes virtually anonymous, removing the possibility of being seen by peers, while sitting in a waiting room or walking to and from your therapist’s office. This increases the likelihood that you will seek care and be consistent regarding appointments.

Receiving care remotely, not being in the physical presence of your therapist, can be extremely freeing. It creates a certain level of anonymity; increasing the benefits of therapy by enabling you to be completely open in sharing your deepest emotions and concerns, without the fear of being seen at your most vulnerable. Individuals participating in Teletherapy find they are much less likely to postpone or cancel a session because they just don’t feel like going out. Keeping a Teletherapy appointment is virtually effortless. This insures the best result regarding Continuity of Care. Further, it offers efficient Time Management; no time is wasted in traveling to and from appointments. You’ll spend the full amount of your available time in session, whether during your lunch hour or at home in the evening.

Possibly the most beneficial aspect of Teletherapy is that it makes quality care accessible to everyone, no matter how remote your geographic location. In an age where our blackberries and iphones are affording us limitless access to the world, many are finding that Teletherapy is the perfect vehicle for accessing therapeutic post divorce counseling in our busy 21st Century lives.

When you’re going through a divorce or have already gone through one, you will naturally be upset and hurt. However, there comes a point when you get so low that it becomes necessary to determine whether or not you need help in dealing with the situation. Divorce counseling is a valuable resource for many people and this article discusses tips and advice on deciding if divorce counseling can help you.

Sadness is a natural feeling to experience when you are dealing with a divorce. However, when you have handled all you can handle on your own, you may need the help of a professional. One way to determine this is your own behavior or ’symptoms.’ Many people internalize things to the point of actually making themselves physically ill or sick. Often, those people will feel like sleeping all the time or will not be able to sleep. You may experience weight loss or gain and not feel like being around anyone, including friends and family. When you are at this point, it’s probably time to consider divorce help.

Talking to a divorce counselor can help you work through the emotions you’re feeling. A divorce can leave behind a lot of baggage, including insecurities, anger, bitterness, low self esteem and much more. Many people never resolve these issues but hold onto them and this allows them to fester like an infected wound. Without healing these things, you could hold onto them and cause problems in your normal life or next relationships. When you work with a divorce counselor, you can learn how to let go of these problems and truly heal.

Another thing you should probably consider is what your emotional stress and problems will do to your children if you have any. A divorce is a difficult time for parents because they are emotionally overloaded, but need to put out more effort, attention and love for the sake of their children. If you’re unable to put forth this extra effort, your children could suffer. Talking to a divorce counselor could help you grow stronger and take the action you need to take, both with your ex spouse and your children. It often empowers those who are going through a divorce and gives them the fuel they need to push through and learn how to move on. Although everyone is different, divorce counseling is a valuable help for many divorced individuals. Think about the information presented here in order to determine whether divorce counseling could help you.

Marriage counseling is almost a taboo word and many people are very scared when their marriage has reached this crucial point. If you are in a situation where counseling is your last option, it is imperative that you treat this as if your life depends on it and ensure that you are giving your marriage the best shot you possibly can. Counseling may help you to uncover unresolved issues and move on with your life as a couple.

You want to make sure that when you are first looking for marriage counseling that you are checking out a counselor’s background. This can include any college training and specialized training that they have received. A background check can prevent you from using a counselor that does not have the knowledge and expertise that will help your marriage. You can even inquire about the success rate they have with couples and you may be very surprised by the answer.

Marriage counseling can cost a considerable amount of money and you may want to find out what you can expect your insurance to cover, before you begin. This can prevent you from getting stuck paying a high bill out of pocket and you will likely need more then one session to help your marriage and this can be very costly in the long run. If you find out what type of policy your insurance has for marriage counseling, it can help you to stay within your means.

If you do not have insurance and cannot afford traditional marriage counseling, you may want to turn to your local mental health center and find out what resources are available where you live. You may be able to find something in your city that works on a sliding scale fee and this can make marriage counseling affordable to almost any couple.

Many churches offer marriage counseling and this can be a great way to help your marriage. Support groups are often offered at many churches and you may have to call around and find out what you need to do to utilize any of these services. You may find other couples that are in a very similar situation and this can be very comforting.

Marriage counseling can be a wonderful aid to a marriage that needs help. Counseling will provide a couple with a safe place to work out their differences and this can be very positive for even the most challenging relationship.

Everyone needs help with something in life at some point or another. If saving your marriage is something that you have long struggled with, there is no reason to sit and suffer when there is help waiting. The key is knowing where to look for the best advice that really helps and acting on it now.

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success. - Henry Ford

Good marriages are the backbone of happy and healthy families. Keeping marriages strong and working through challenges successfully can help a family thrive. Marriages are constantly faced with challenges today. Whether it is communication problems, infidelity, parenting, substance abuse, or loss of a family member, marriage counseling has many benefits. Not only does marriage counseling help in working through problems, it enhances relationships and opens up lines of communication. One of the most common complaints of couples is that they do not feel heard or understood by their partners. A marriage therapist can help couples communicate in such a way that they can understand, accept, and respect one another. They can begin to feel safe in sharing their feelings and thoughts, release anger and bitterness, and trust again. They can draw closer than they ever thought was possible.

Marriage counseling can also help to reduce the chance of problems becoming worse, and relationships drifting, becoming damaged, or ending in divorce. Research has found that professional counseling improves relationships and the physical and mental health of all family members is significantly improved.

Marriage counseling has many benefits to those who want to build strong, healthy, and happy marriages. Great relationships do not just happen. There is investment involved, that is, investment of time, effort, and sacrifice. Some of the most successful marriages are those that have undergone some of the most difficult times and committed to work on them together. Persistence and commitment to the process lead to success in marriage counseling.

Getting help to improve or save a marriage is one of the wisest, most loving things a couple can do for their own well-being, for their children and families, and for their future. No marriage need suffer from the pressures of unresolved problems that lead to even bigger problems. Help is available and it can make a difference for life!

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. - Simone Signoret